


The Arcana: Born Again

by 5ColorsInMyLife



Series: The Arcana [1]
Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Asra (The Arcana)'s Route, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-06-10 00:59:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15280107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5ColorsInMyLife/pseuds/5ColorsInMyLife
Summary: Purple walls, a young stranger and no memories whatsoever...This is one version of the MC's background story from The Arcana Game, where she/he (in this story it's a girl, called Elys) wakes up with no recollection of who she is or what might have happened to her (not exactly spoiler free).  So basically, this story is set before the game even takes place and focuses on the relationship between Asra and the MC.





	1. Awake

When did it start? When did I begin again? To think, and suddenly be aware of everything. When did the darkness that engulfed me overwhelm me to such an extent that I could no longer bear it and needed to get out of it? And why,  _why_  did it take me so long to realise that I was not meant to be there, that I should not have been part of it at all?

That sudden awareness was enough to bring light to the darkness, and I realised that it was because my eyes had finally found the will to open. But it didn't tell me how long I had kept them shut, or why. 

There was a room, its dark purple walls lit up by the sunlight beaming through the window. But if my new surroundings were supposed to make more sense to me than the darkness, it didn't work.  
The room wasn't the only thing that felt strange and unfamiliar, I realised soon enough. When I tried to think about it, my mind remained blank, and only then did it hit me: everything was blank, because everything felt like a blank page in my mind. No memories to hold on to. None to create an identity for myself. Nothing. There was no me. No sense of familiarity whatsoever.

I sat up in the bed, heart hammering so hard against my chest that I thought it would leap right out of it. Before I could even move my feet over the edge of the bed, the door slid open, and a figure with white hair, golden brown skin and a youthful face stopped in his tracks upon seeing me staring back, and almost dropped the plate of food he was holding.

He didn't say a word, however, and I assumed it was because of the evident shock written all over his face. But shock of what? Of me being there? Being awake? And was my shock as readable on my face as his was?

I wished he'd say something first, so that I would at least  _know_  how to act, while I was deprived of any other kind of knowledge about myself, or him, or anything at all. Maybe I was even meant to feel safe in this room, and I couldn't deny that the warmth it radiated felt sincere. But the missing pieces in my head made it impossible for me to feel any kind of comfort, and maybe it would help if  _he_  already knew about the predicament I was in. Because that was all I could do. Rely on him, since I couldn't rely on myself.

"You're awake..." He finally said. I felt the effort he made when he spoke in a seemingly calm voice. Even then, there were cracks in his tone and his composure which I couldn't ignore.

"Where am I?" I heard myself say, voice hoarse as though I hadn't spoken in years. There were so many other burning questions, every new one giving me even more reasons to panic. Because I. knew.  _nothing_.

"It's okay, I promise it's okay... You just... You need to rest." He swallowed thickly, gently setting the plate aside as he took a few steps towards me, a warm smile shaping his lips.

"I don't understand." I gripped the covers tightly, and he stopped as soon as he saw it.

"Please- just please. Trust me... You trust me, don't you?" He held up his hands in an attempt to stop me from whatever he thought I was going to do. I probably looked as unstable as I felt.

"Who are you?"

And then... I saw it. The way the twinkle left his eyes. The way that warm smile, however forced it was for my benefit, couldn't even remain on his lips. I could tell that the emotions he had been struggling to bottle up suddenly threatened to shatter his façade, because he understood the one thing my question implied: I remembered  _nothing_.

I even heard it in his strangled voice, the unintentional pain my question had inflicted, as he struggled to formulate a supposedly simple answer:

"My name is Asra."


	2. Chapter 2

I hadn't left the bed once since I had woken up that first time. I had let Asra talk, though he kept it short, because I couldn't bear to speak too much and give voice to this growing panic inside me. Not that silence was doing me much good either, but it did give me a false sense of security for the time being, sometimes going as far as to trick me into believing that I wasn't a timebomb at all. That I was actually coping. And I wondered how it looked on the outside; whether Asra could be fooled as well.

 

When I had finally rested enough to stay awake for a while longer, curiosity pushed me to fling the covers aside and move my legs once more over the edge of the bed until my soles touched the cold floor. It felt like one first step towards freedom, and made me want to go further and stand up despite how wobbly my legs felt. I was stubborn, that much I already knew, and it didn't take me long to rest my palm on the nightstand for support as I hauled myself to my feet. I gazed down in concentration and slowly removed my hand from the nightstand. I smiled faintly, indulging in this brief moment of pride until I heard three soft knocks against the door as it slid open and revealed Asra's composed figure.

 

Our gazes met for a split second, but a split second was enough for me to lose my concentration and feel that something was wrong, before my legs gave out from under me.

 

"Elys!" Asra cried out and rushed to my side, and I didn't need to look to know that whatever reassuring smile he had bravely put on before entering the bedroom had now completely vanished. It never did take much for him to lose his façade with me and make his distress obvious. Meanwhile, I was still the same timebomb suppressed under a layer of indifference.

 

"Are you okay?!" He cupped my cheeks on an impulse, and I couldn’t help but frown at his distress. I wished it didn't confuse me so much. I wished I understood why he was so concerned and careful with me, like I was nothing more but a vase, one knock being enough to topple me over and have me shatter to pieces.

 

"What happened to me?" I asked, my eyes boring right through him as I refused to settle for anything less than the truth. He froze and averted his gaze for the first time, his hands dropping immediately to his lap.

 

"Who are you?" I continued. "Why can't I remember anything?"

 

"Elys, please... Calm down... Please." He murmured gently in response.

 

I found myself reaching for his forearm and gripping it tightly, as though I could force all the answers I needed out of him with a firm grip. But there was nothing but sadness in his violet eyes, and it did nothing to reassure me in return.

 

"Stop looking at me like that. Please, stop."

 

I let go of his arm and pulled myself up to my feet as quickly as I could, much to Asra's surprise.

 

"What are you doing? Elys!" He watched and hurried to his feet as I took careful steps towards the door.

 

"I need to know. I have a right to know. And I'm not going to wait here until you feel like talking."

 

"Wait!"

 

I had almost reached the door when he gripped my wrist and forced me to turn around. I yanked it free, but only because he didn't actually try to hold me back. He never would. He never even said that he would confine me to this room until he decided what to do with me next. The choice to leave or stay had always been mine; I had only felt too weak and exhausted to really try anything before. I was free to go, but that simple realisation was now enough to make me doubt whether it was truly the right thing to do.

 

He was the one with the answers, and I only needed to believe that he wasn't keeping them from me because he enjoyed it, but because he was being careful, like any other calm and thoughtful gesture of his I had witnessed since the beginning.

 

I stared at him, my indifferent act coming to an end as the first tears blurred my vision.

 

"Why can't I remember anything?" I felt my voice, and then my legs, my whole body, tremble as Asra broke the distance between us and pulled me into a tight embrace.

 

"It's okay. Hey..." He tilted his head against mine while one hand came to rest at the back of my head, the other rubbing my back gently. "It's okay. I promise it's okay... I'll make it okay."

 

He turned his head lightly in order to press a gentle kiss to my temple while I buried my face into the fabric of his shirt. Wishing that my mind would go quiet, at least for the time being, so that I could believe him, and that his embrace and reassurance, even if he did not believe it himself, could at least fool me every time.

 

"I will always make it okay."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! Just a quick note to thank you all for reading my work and/or leaving kudos/comments. It means a lot to me, especially because I'm still rather new to this site and I didn't really think that my fic would get any kind of attention, soo thank you!!! I hope I can keep posting updates for you, ideally more regularly than what I've been doing for the past few months... Ehhh. Enjoy! x

“This is home.” Asra offered an encouraging smile as he watched me come down the stairs after him.

 

I let my eyes wander around, hoping for something to at least feel familiar, the way Asra was probably also hoping for, but whatever this “home” was supposed to mean to me, there was none of that meaning left now. Even Asra looked quickly away when he figured what my lack of reaction meant.

 

It felt cosy enough, with a small kitchen, a table, shelves with small plants and jars containing spices and herbs, all of which gave this home a reassuring and welcoming appearance. I forced myself to look around the way I would with any new place I’d be visiting, instead of focusing too much on the fact that I was _supposed_ to know all of it already, as Asra’s demeanour had already made very clear. His quick glances were anything but discreet. Anything but innocent. I could almost sense the swirl of emotions that threatened to take over him from across the room. I didn’t even need to imagine the way he went back and forth between a feeling of disappointment at my inability to recollect and worry at the possibility of something else happening to me. Or maybe those were my own feelings.

 

What eventually caught my attention was the curtain that covered part of the wall across the room, from floor to ceiling. I imagined what I could find behind it as I walked towards it, feeling his gaze on me once again. He stayed silent, however, and that was enough to encourage me to go ahead.

 

With one arm, I pulled the curtain out of the way, taking in the room that had been hiding behind it. It was a small shop, with strange items, very diverse in nature, put on display, most of which safely kept behind glass. There was another curtain to my right that was already pulled back, revealing another smaller room with one simple, round table covered with a silken cloth and two seats positioned around it. I couldn’t help but smile faintly. Just like Asra himself, there was nothing ordinary about this place.

 

“Do you tell people’s fortunes?” I asked at last, though the little shop suggested that there was more to it than that.

 

“Of a sort.” He quietly made his way to the counter, rummaging through one of the drawers before taking out a deck of cards. “I read Tarot cards. And sell.. things.” I slowly nodded, as if that made things any clearer… It didn’t. Part of me was also slightly disappointed that he hadn’t taken out a magic crystal ball instead.

 

“So you read the future with that?” I eyed the cards curiously as I made my way towards him.

 

He tilted his head, somewhat reluctant to agree. “It’s not so much about predicting the future… It’s more about intuition.”

 

I gazed at them a little longer, tempted to take a look at the figures on the hidden side of each card, but just like any question I had still left unanswered, I chose to chase that thought away instead. Maybe it was wrong of me not to ask more to jog my memory, but while one part of me wanted to try harder to remember, the other was undeniably anxious about the exact same thing.

 

“Tell me more about you.” I murmured and he made no effort to hide his surprise as his eyes silently questioned my odd request. Maybe he expected me to start with myself. Or maybe with us… if there ever was an _us_.

 

 

“Well… I’m a magician. Obviously the owner of this very peculiar shop.” He chuckled, giving me a knowing look. “Oh, and-”

 

He smiled down at his side softly, but I couldn’t see what he was reaching for from the other side of the counter and I didn’t need to because soon, a slim, light purple figure seemed to sneak up his arm until it draped itself over his shoulders. He turned his head to the small snake and raised a hand which the snake head-butted affectionately.

 

“This is Faust. She’s very cuddly.”

 

I watched quietly for a moment, frowning.

 

“A magician that owns a magic shop and a snake…” I murmured as the snake, Faust, raised her head to look right at me.

 

“ _… Elys! … Scared?”_

 

I blinked at the strange voice, staring at Faust in utter confusion. Her… lips hadn’t moved, and clearly it couldn’t have been Asra, or anyone else since it was still just the three of us.

 

“Did you just-” I muttered to Faust, before turning to Asra with a bewildered look on my face. “Did she just-?”

 

 Asra slowly nodded without saying much else. He would probably be smiling if he wasn’t so unsure of my reaction.

 

“A magician who owns a magic shop and a snake that talks.”

 

“Well technically, it’s telepathy…”

 

“It’s still talking! Communicating!” I raised my voice, flailing my arms around a bit too frantically, though neither Asra or Faust seemed perturbed by my small outburst. Maybe it was too comical a sight for that.

 

 “Is that bad…?” He smiled apologetically and scratched the back of his head, messing up his wild curls even more in the process.

 

“Bad? N-no, it’s just…” I tailed off, giving the two of them an uncertain look.

 

I thought about it for a few more seconds, before concluding that no… there was nothing malevolent about either of them. Asra had mentioned intuition before, and if my own gut feeling could be trusted in any way, then neither of them felt unsafe. But that wasn’t even the issue… The issue was that it was supposed to be familiar. Asra hadn’t said so in so many words, but it was enough to look at him to see that my reactions only kept disappointing him. And I hadn’t even asked any proper question yet.

 

“I’d like to go…” I mumbled, and I saw how Asra instantly held his breath, a worried frown creasing his forehead. He was already taking a step towards me when I finished my sentence.

 

“… outside. I’d just like to go outside.” I returned the frown. He hesitated, probably wondering if I had really meant it that way, but instead of saying anything, he only heaved a sigh and moved away from the counter while carefully removing Faust from his shoulders, disappearing into the other room and returning with a purple-red shawl and a bag across his shoulder.

 

“Let’s go…” He failed to hide the sudden wariness in his demeanour as he strode over to the door and held it open for me.

 

“I’d just like some air, Asra…” My frown deepened as I took a few, careful steps towards him.

“I get that you want me to start with this place. But there is nothing for me here. Not yet. I promise I’m trying, but I just want some air and-”

 

“Hey, no, no… Please.” He quickly walked towards me, then, changing his mind, stopped midway. “I’m sorry if… I’m not helping, or if I’m overwhelming you. I-I really don’t mean to. I know it’s too much, and too sudden. I also still need to-” He swallowed thickly. “Tell me what you need, and I’ll help. I’ll always try to help.” He smiled again.

 

I finally took the last few steps in his direction and looked down, quietly sliding my hand in his, before looking up into his eyes to make sure that this was okay. He squeezed my hand in response.

 

“I’ll be fine, out there.” I replied. “Just don’t let go.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit longer to make up for the long wait. Please leave kudos/comments if you liked it, or if there were things you didn't like (?). Thanks for reading!!

 

We left the shop through the front door, Asra’s hand only briefly slipping out of mine so that he could lock the door. I took those few seconds where he wasn’t directly looking at me and assessing my reactions to let my gaze roam freely around me. It was around noon, the streets were bathing in sunlight and if it weren’t for the regular breeze and the shadows, the air would be too stifling to consider a long walk at all. Still, despite the heat and lunch time having started, the streets were anything but empty, which made me think that it was mostly a matter of getting used to life here, in the end.

I slowly let go of my apprehension, realising that the houses, the people and the cobbled paths had little, not to say nothing in common with Asra’s unusual home, though it quickly struck me that even without any memories, I was still capable of coming up with a notion of normality to judge my surroundings by. Maybe not all of what I once knew was irrevocably lost just yet.

 

I felt Asra’s hand timidly taking hold of mine and gave it a gentle squeeze, wondering who, out of the two of us, needed the reassurance more. Then answer was all too obvious when I looked up at him and saw that his face was still ridden with this same bewildering concern. I took it upon myself, then, to snap him out of it and began to lead the way by gently pulling him along.

 

“So, what is this place called?” I asked in what I hoped was a light, curious tone.

 

“Vesuvia.” He replied uncertainly.

 

“Looks nice. I can imagine myself growing attached to this place.”

 

It took him another few minutes, maybe to adjust to having to act as a guide for me, or to prevent his worries from ruining this first walk for me, before he reached my side with a light skip in his pace, so that he would no longer be walking two steps behind me.

 

“You loved- you would love it. I don’t think anyone could make you leave this place if it came down to it…”

 

He forced a soft a chuckle through his lips, but the words were too strange to be casually laughed off. Instead, they resulted in an awkward silence from us both.

 

He sighed softly after a moment. “Sorry. That wasn’t…”

 

“What’s that over there?” I interrupted him as I stopped in my tracks and looked to my left. There was a much bigger crowd in one of the adjacent streets, moving between tents and stalls which were bordering the street.

 

“A market. We have them a lot… They’re good for business.”

 

“Can we…?”

 

He looked surprised at first, unsure, even. And maybe walking through a massive crowd in my case wasn’t exactly the brightest idea I could suggest. But wasn’t this the kind of thing we would be doing if I wasn’t suffering from memory loss? I didn’t want to ask, but it was a fair assumption to make, and it felt too silly to stand looking from a distance at the routine of all of Vesuvia’s inhabitants.

 

I tightened my grip around his hand to remind him that nothing was going to happen if neither of us let go. He also clearly knew that if I were to deliberately slip away, there was nothing he could do about it, but that was hardly even a possibility to me. He knew too much and I, too little, and the trust I had in him couldn’t be explained only with the short time I could remember spending with him. It was much, much deeper than that, and much more vital than I was ready to admit.

 

Finally, he smiled. “Of course.”

 

Still with my hand in his, he took the lead and guided me to the first row of stalls, walking in front of me whenever the crowd became a little too dense. A lot of stalls had jewellery on display; rings, bracelets and necklaces made with gems of a variety of colours. Others sold clothes, hats, masks and shawls similar to the one Asra had draped over his shoulders. But it was especially those with food that caught my attention, my grumbling stomach conveniently serving as a justification for me to sneak closer and stare at the abundance of pastries laid out before me.

 

I heard a soft laugh at my side, and I couldn’t hide my surprise when I raised my gaze and saw Asra smiling wholeheartedly for the first time since I’d woken up, a few days ago.

 

“What?” I blinked, genuinely curious.

 

“Nothing, it’s just… Some things never change.”

 

He averted his gaze quickly as he rummaged through his pocket in search of something. Even if his comment once again pointed out the obvious, I couldn’t help but smile. His ways were too endearing not to. And he didn’t even need me to tell him which ones I wanted, as he already asked the woman for the pastries I wanted, before handing her the money.

 

“I hope you know that there are a lot of other food stalls around…” I teased with a smile as he handed me the bag.

 

“I do, as a matter of fact. And I’ve come prepared.” He returned the same teasing smile.

 

“Let’s hope you can keep up, then.” I chanted as a quickened my pace, having suddenly forgotten about our agreement to hold hands in the face of a playful challenge that was only supposed to lighten the mood.

 

“Elys, not so fast-” I heard him say behind me, and I only meant to go as far as the next stall of food to allow him to catch up. I hurried towards it with a smile, until a group of people ran past me, bumping into me in the process and making me lose my balance. The paper bag slipped out of my hands as my knees hit the ground, and I hardly watched as the pastries rolled across the cobblestones, instead focusing my gaze on the commotion around me. I saw the first person, a man in strange apparel, who had bumped into me and hadn’t bothered looking behind him or apologising. All I could make out was his auburn hair and his long dark coat as he ran away… with a troop of soldiers chasing after him.

 

“Elys!” Someone shouted from behind me and I stood up slowly, hardly having the time to turn around before Asra gripped my arms tightly. The wild, panicked look in his eyes hit me as hard and suddenly as the earlier collision with the mysterious man.

 

“Are you okay?!” He cupped my face suddenly, looking into my eyes as though he was expecting me to have a concussion.

 

“Asra, I’m- I’m fine.” I raised my hands and gently took hold of his wrists to lower them. “I didn’t hit my head or anything, if that’s what you’re worried abo-”

 

“I _told_ you to wait for me.” He frowned, a hurt expression taking over his features.

 

“I didn’t go anywhere, I wasn’t even that far ahead. And this is a market, Asra... What do you expect to happen at a market?”

 

“Nothing good, clearly, since people don’t even care enough to look where they’re going.” He took hold of my hand and crouched down to pick up the pastries and put them back in the bag, all this while carefully avoiding my gaze. Once he was done, he left them on a short wall and pulled me away from everyone and everything related to the market. He didn’t even realise how tightly he was squeezing my hand. We turned to our left and walked down a narrow street, leaving the crowd and the sunlight behind us as the large houses were now towering over us and blocking us from the sun. I suddenly stopped and pulled Asra back to force him to turn around and look at me.

 

The pained look still hadn’t left his eyes. Instead, they seemed to be gleaming with tears. This couldn’t only be about the market, and its ‘possible dangers’.

 

He looked away, and I gently pulled him closer despite his reluctance. I slid both my hands on his, waiting in silence until he would meet my gaze. He didn’t.

 

“I wish you would tell me what you’re so afraid of.”

 

“But you don’t-“

 

“I don’t remember anything.” I nodded in agreement. “And I’m afraid of what I’ll hear. I thought I would avoid asking for the time being and try and understand by myself. But it’s selfish of me, and it’s not even working… It feels a bit too much like pretence.” He finally looked at me, curiosity finally taking over. “I can’t let you deal with it by yourself when it concerns me just as much, if not more.”

 

He let out a soft breath, and I could feel his body finally letting go of all the tension. His thumbs were gently stroking my hands when I could see the ghost of a smile forming on his lips.

 

“See, this is why…”

 

“Why what?”

 

“Why I’ve always struggled to let you go.”


End file.
